Monday, February 6, 2012

Quite Moving Stuff Around on the Internet

Why do they keep moving things around on the internet? Google is the worst. I love Google, but right now they are acting like some neurotic housewife who keeps rearranging the furniture. You come home from a hard day’s work and all you want to do is sling off your shoes and sink into your favorite chair, except it’s not there anymore.

Figuratively speaking, of course. I post this blog in a few places, and one is on Blogger, which is Google’s blog host site thingy. So just now I went to log in to Blogger and couldn’t find it even though I searched high and low – I looked under the beds, behind the sofa, in the kitchen cabinets. It wasn’t there. Figuratively speaking.

When I log into my Google account, I usually just click on “Account Settings” and that gets me to Blogger. But when I did that tonight, this page came up that looked totally different. I had to look all through it for the word “Blogger” and couldn’t find it. “Now where did Google hide my Blogger?” I asked myself, out loud, because I sit and talk to myself all day and night. Sometimes I get hoarse from all that jabbering.

I started clicking on other things in a logical fashion – I clicked on Sites because my blog is on a “site” but that revealed one website I’ve been to a while ago – not sure how it got there or what I’m supposed to do with it. It’s like when your husband takes a kitchen utensil and puts it in the wrong drawer – you look everywhere and finally find, the whole time cursing and wondering what possessed him to put it there in the first place since you’d never automatically go there – it always turns out to be the last place you would think to look.

I kept hunting for Blogger, determined to give it the same f effort I would devote to finding a missing earring or some other treasure. I clicked a tab I hadn’t noticed before that said “More” and it dropped down a whole list of things like a watch thief opening his coat to show you his loot and things roll down from the lining revealing a plethora of watches pinned to the linings. “Aha” I said, out loud, when I saw the word “Blogs.” I clicked on that and got…..nothing. “Holy crap,” I grumbled. “Where in the h…e….double hockey sticks did Google hide my frigging blog?”

This is the way I talk to myself when I get frustrated – like a crazy woman wringing her hands, desperate to find relief when none is in site. Then I noticed a link called Reader and clicked it. A whole accordian of articles popped up, one after the other about oddball stuff like stick figure cartoon drawings talking to each other in such a sophisticated humorous way that I couldn’t get the jokes at all. There were other articles and recipes and advertisements. All hiding under that one link right on my own Google site like beetles under a rock.

But no Blogger. Finally when I saw a link that said, “Even more.” I got a little excited because there really wasn’t anywhere else at all to hide Blogger except there. When I clicked the link I came to a whole nother long page full of text and icons. Holding my breath, I scrolled down, and there, buried under a pile of dirty clothes, was Blogger. Phew – I was so glad I found it and so freaking irritated with Google for hiding it there. Good freaking grief. Would you computer people just get things arranged somehow and then LEAVE IT ALONE. JUST LEAVE IT ALONE! For a little while, anyway, or else you will send me completely over the edge, and I don’t have far to go. .